Sunday, January 8, 2012 Y
The World of Our Own
We live in one world that full of surprises. Sometime the surprises was made by on our own willingness. I made a trillion of mistake in life which I cant actually know how to fix it. But still, in a while I learn and fixing my self like motorbike mechanics. Those experience make me more adult even I know I'm still childish. One of mistake is letting myself judgement and my love to a person harm me for doing something reckless things. Its already past thousands of second, I still regret that things was happen. Y can I think clearly, makes myself a fool just to relief the pain for shutting those tears. Even it doesn't concern me. And plus its totally hurt when we thought someone will be actually there for us, But Only a shadow that appear. Those experience make me realise how creepy this world could be. I also just learn how the wind blow so smooth near the ear, but it harm you like Katrina.
" In within you, there is enemy inside which is stronger than a thousand army"
Sunday, January 23, 2011 Y
For Whom mY Heart Belong to?
Hampir setiap hari aku bertanya milik siapakah hati ini? Tp Setiap kali ku bertanya wajahnya sentiasa tergambar. Perasaan sebak kian bertaut. Hujan mata kian lebat. Kadang2 tak tertahan lg. Semuanya pedih. Mampu ker aku melupakan? Tidak sama skali. Apakan daya, hatiku hanya utk si dia. Ingin Ku benci tapi hanya sayang terukir di hati. Segala impian bak runtuhan salji di pergunungan alps. Stiap hari wajahnya tergambar. Ya Allah sampai bila ku harus tanggung derita begini. Orang mengatakan ku gila mengejar lelaki yang tidak mahu. Tapi hati masih untuk dia. Masih lagi. Biar sejuta ikan di laut, Ku hanya maukan kelisa. Adakah dia paham arti sayang ini? adakah dia membaca tulisan ku ini? Sesungguhnya aku tidah tahu tetapi hanya berharap. Perlu ke ku begini setiap masa? Aku sendiri tak mengerti...
Sunday, January 9, 2011 Y
Ingin terlalu Pantas...
Kadang2 roda hidup terasa sgt perit. Apatah lgi bila kita dikecewakan . Hidup aku dah tak tentu lg. Aku merancang, tapi Allah lebih mengetahui. Aku terlalu kecewa sbb aku btol2 sayang sgt kat die. Lebih dr segala2nya. Aku tau aku bukan gadis yg baik utk dia. Tapi aku cuba berikan yang terbaik. Akuu xtau aku xmatang n selalu lawan ckp dier. Aku degil n xpernah hormat dia. Apa yang aku rasa, aku akan bgtau. Mungkin die perlukan perempuan yg lebih pandai berdikari bukan seperti aku. Setiap perkara aku perlukan dia. Stiap benda aku nak buat dgn die. MUngkin byk salah aku. dah berapa kali aku cuba lawan perasaan dan lupakan dia. tapi sampai ke hari ini aku masih xleh lupakan dia. Andai tuhan tentukan org lain sbg jodoh, mintak2 ditemukan segera. Sbb aku dah xtahan lg. Aku perlukan sesuatu utk menghalang diri dr mengingat dia. Kalo tuhan mmberikan amnesia, aku terima dgn hati terbuka. Aku dah penat berhujan air mata. sbb terlalu byk aku impikan dgn dia. Terlalu byk sehingga semua memakan diri sendiri.
Thursday, January 6, 2011 Y
Terasa Payah....
Hari ini terasa amat sukar utk menaip. Dah lama ku menyepi dr dunia . Memenuhkan diri dngan kerja di pejabat lebih indah dr layani perasaan di rumah. Ia lebih ke arah mencari ketenangan dr jiwa yg kecamuk. Dia tiada lg disisi. Dia dah tinggalkan diri disaat ku sgt ingin kan dirinya. Still x boleh terima hakikat hingga ke hari ini walau dah hmpir sebulan. Setiap masa ku cuba utk hubungi dia. But dear, i really miss u much. Dulu hepy sgt, skrang x lgi. Hari2 terinagt kat dia. Harap sgt hubungan kami kembali lg. Sbb terlalu syg sgt kat dia. Kadang2 bila tgk org lain dah layari bahagia, terasa perit sgt hati. Harap sgt hubunagn kami pulih. :(9
Friday, October 22, 2010 Y
sometimes we cant realize what really happen to us. It seems all are in good condition and people are so nice around us. We sometime not realize, there is an enemy inside blanket that we share. People have their inside devil that derive them to act wrongly. Like my own, i hate myself for being so childish. But i myself did not realize that i have done something stupid and shameful. Like announce to people that I'm crazy and proud for doing something regretful. Maybe is the matter how we really think and maturity. People around us find the perfect time to ambush and turn our slack into public. Its not a good behavior but most of people done it. everybody have someone they hate and its natural. People who they hate, are mostly sometimes have done one mistake that they hate the most. I don't know what really I'm gonna do in my life. Maybe I'm not being grateful for what I've surround me. I'm so envy to others on what they have and try to be like them. But i know i cant change the fact that me as me. A lot of people may hate me for I've done, even my own self.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010 Y
Bila Berjauhan...
Dah 4 bulan x berjumpa satu sama lain, rindu rasanya pada dia. Terlalu rindu yang teramat sgt. Bila agak nya boleh jumpa dia?. Aku nak sgt pergi jumpa dia. Bukan jauh pon antara kami. Setiap kali naik kereta tgk signboard ke kuantan. Terasa nak pusing kereta yg aku naik pegi ke sana sbb dah terlallu rindu sgt. Tp diri sendiri xda lesen n x pandai bawk keta, mcm mana nak pegi sana..Kalo naikk bas plak, terasa nak jer beli tiket pegi ke pahang. still xleh. Sepanjang nie, aku byk blajar mcm mana nak bersabar dan menanti. Mungkin nnti bru kami berjumpa.
Friday, September 3, 2010 Y
GElap.....
Terasa dunia nie gelap gelita semuanya...semua seakan jauh dr aku. Dah x nampak byg atau sinar bahagia dlm diri....maybe nie penghujung segala cerita yang ada. Aku sendiri tak tau. Penat rasanya menelan pahit. Terasa semua org dlm dunia nie membenci aku. Maybe aku jahat gaknya. Segala kesilapan ditambah dgn kebencian. satu persatu pegi meninggalkan diri. Menjauh dr diri ni. Terasa mcm hidup nie dah x berguna kat sape2. Terasa tidak motif hidup di dunia nie. Terasa diri nie hanya beban kat semua org. Perlu kah aku senyap menyepi? duduk di ruang gelap aku sendiri. Bermain dgn diri sendiri tanpa mengganggu org lain? aku sendiri celaru..
